Gratitude - A Surprising Way to Reduce Stress
Gratitude - A Surprising Way to Reduce Stress
by Elizabeth Bernstein
When you start to feel frustrated, interrupt your thoughts with a question: “What is the gift in this situation?”
Focusing on the positive helps you better absorb the negative.
Reminding ourselves what we’re grateful for is one of the most powerful ways we can boost the psychological immune system. A strong psychological immune system keeps us mentally resilient.
Many things we do to strengthen our physical immune system also support us mentally, such as eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep and finding time for pleasurable activities in our day. Typically, our psychological immune system kicks in naturally. But every now and then, it is important we all try to actively strengthen it.
Our psychological immune system is like a cellphone battery—we drain it more quickly in a crisis because we use it more. So it’s important to continue to recharge it.
To boost it, we need to take active steps to regulate our emotions. Experts recommend focusing on what you can control. Acknowledge that life is tough right now, and don’t beat yourself up for feeling bad.
Challenge negative thoughts, asking yourself if they are true. Reframe them in a way that is more positive and helpful. (Replace “I hate not seeing my friends and family” with “I look forward to seeing my loved ones eventually.”) Calm yourself through breathing exercises. Be mindful—pay attention to the present moment.
Research shows that gratitude is a huge psychological booster. Studies show that people who practice being grateful report significantly higher levels of happiness and psychological well-being than those who do not. They sleep better. They have more success at work. And they have better relationships.
Gratitude is not a feeling that can be willed easily. But performing grateful motions, such as saying thank you, can help trigger real gratitude.
The best way to start practicing gratitude is to keep a journal to identify things in your life for which you are grateful each day. Refer to them as gifts, which will underscore their importance as something positive. And take the time to truly reflect. “Don’t hurry through this exercise as if it were just another item on your to-do list,” he says. “Be aware of your feelings and how you relish and savor each gift.”
Feelings of gratitude activate three main areas in the brain: the brain stem region that produces dopamine, the primary reward chemical; the reward center, where dopamine is released; and the anterior cingulate cortex, which helps us focus on information that is relevant and communicates between the brain’s thinking and emotional circuits. “Your psychological well-being depends less on the things that happen to you and more on the things you pay attention to”. “Gratitude will shift your brain’s attention.”
Gratitude gives us something we can change: our thoughts. We don’t need good things to happen to us to be grateful, we need to reframe our thoughts about what has happened.
It helps to keep your psychological immune system healthy by writing in a journal twice a day. Leave it open on your desk and makes entries before you start work in the morning and when you turn off your computer at night. Each time, follow a series of five writing prompts, posed as questions, including, “What is your big task for the day?” “What is your 90-day goal?” “What was your big win?” “What lessons did you learn?”
But one question is more important than all the others, and so start and end your day with it: “What are you grateful for?”
How to be Grateful
Prepare yourself. Spend time in nature. Listen to relaxing music. Slow down and pay attention to your surroundings. You need to start in the right frame of mind. “Gratitude can’t be forced.”
Keep a gratitude journal. Write down things you are grateful for each day. Think of them as gifts. Reflect on your feelings and the depth of your gratitude. “Writing things down helps you focus on the details and makes the feeling more tangible”
Give back. Find ways to use your strengths and talents to help others. “We become more grateful when we become a giver rather than a receiver”
Think about the bad. Recalling the worst times in your life can make you grateful you made it through, grateful for what you learned in the process and how it made you stronger, and grateful, hopefully, that things aren’t as bad now.
Go through the motions. Gratitude is an attitude, not a feeling that can easily be willed. But by performing grateful motions, you may be able to trigger real gratitude. Smile. Say thank you. Fake it till you make it.
Watch your language. Grateful people use thankful words: gifts, blessings, fortune, abundance. Tell yourself you “get to do this” rather than you “have to do this.”
Practice the three S’s. Be open to surprise each day; surprise amplifies positive feelings. Be specific—dwell on the concrete ways in which you are supported and sustained by other people. Pay attention to scarcity. Is there a benefit or silver lining to the current situation that you will not have in the future?
Write a letter. It feels good to make someone else feel good. But research shows that even if you don’t send the letter you will benefit because you have strengthened the brain’s gratitude circuitry and activated the region of the brain that produces dopamine.
Say thank you. A lot. Especially to the people you’re living with right now. It will make you both feel better.
Take action. This may help you focus on your positive feelings longer. Take a photo. Seek out experiences that make you feel grateful. “By taking action, we are telling our brain this matters”. “And then that feeling gets highlighted by the brain’s circuitry, instead of floating away like a random thought.”
Think of happy memories. This increases the production of serotonin, a feel-good neurotransmitter, in the brain.
Focus on the future. Think of the reunions. Imagine how good it will feel to eat at your favorite restaurant or get back to your favorite hobby. This will help prevent you from taking things for granted in the future.